Tuesday, 8 December 2009
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. it feels like love is like a death sentence, a torment, mental suffocation, emotional breakdown. love can just bring you down, totally that you feel low of yourself. Rejection, yes it feels like a shot in the heart, it just kills ur normal self, u become a different person, not the usual self, depression state. now i feel physical torture is way better then mental torture. and mental torture is way better than emotional torture.
i did what was supposed to be done, and what most people would do. the main thing i seek is closure, and the road to it would definitely be rocky, nevertheless is about just moving on. It's not a dead end yet, treat it like a detour, the road still continues on. No regrets on that.
yet, it still hurts alot, and the worst thing is to control it within. i cant be looking like a freaking depressing unsound human being going around looking like emily, right. so yea, the next time i think my heart will open up again, guess it would be not so soon. i taught i couldn't fall in love, but i just did, it was the first, and yes, the first cut is always the deepest.
I'm trying to avoid paranoia, depression and a raging temper.
I blog @ Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
I'm neither here nor there. I never had achieved anything great in life. I'm just a total bummer who just seeks all round enjoyment. All of a sudden it just strike me, I'm worried that i have to face the consequences later on in future. That's the price i have to pay for beings such an arse lazing around this past lifetime of mine. Friends around me are at least ding something with their life, they have set goals and are determined to achieve it. For me, it's more of like living on a day to day basis. Sometimes we just don't realise our talents, but the ironic thing is that other people does and they see that we have the potential. The problem always lies in the person themselves. Guess it's about time that i should take life more seriously and set goals that i want to achieve, its not just about the talking, its the process and executing it. Najib wants to be somebody of high recognition in future, but the thing that is hindering me is laziness, procastination, stubborness, and that can't be bothered attitude. It would be more nicer to see the antonyms of this words instead, hopefully in future.
I blog @ Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Friday, 14 August 2009
In an urgent need to shift to eating healthy food. From what i believe, healthy food is not delicious, but unhealthy food is always delicious. Isn't that true. Oh well, I'm now force into this healthy diet thingy, so i just gotta bare with it for the time being.
I blog @ Friday, August 14, 2009
Call me image conscious, I wont deny that. It's affecting me really badly, i feel so miserable, yes and yesterday i felt like crying. Something really bad happen to my face. I was using this blackhead removal cream, it was really very strong, and so yea, my skin couldnt take it. Now my cheeks look like i just went for botox, it feels very tight and dry, and there are alot of red dots around it. How not to feel miserable, worst thing the doctor say there would be a pimple outbreak after this, and it would be for 2 months. that's the only way out to get cured. Hearing the verdict from the doctor was really heartbreaking, it sounds very drama, but since it was the first time, i really felt so miserable and down about it. Next, i'm starting to get irritated by my hair, its getthing very long and thick, and if i dun take good care of it, i will just look like a messy haggard looking guy. So what are the options, cut my hair short like the good old time, or prolly should i consider dreadlocks or braids. Jus hope things will get better after this, so that I wont get so paranoid about it. Ugly Betty.
I blog @ Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday, 7 August 2009
What's your say about P.D.A? For me, its an insult to singles, so i think they should go get a room and not showcase their love to others.
What's your say on public sex? For me, its wild, daring, dangerously hot. moving away from the conventional way of having sex. the bed is just getting boring. guess people are just getting too comfortable with their surroundings. I did saw a couple having public sex once, at taka, and the most surprising things is that they look like geeks, ahuh, so not only bad boys and wild gurls engaged in this kinda of activities.
No time for loved ones.
Overtime is easy shit.
I blog @ Friday, August 07, 2009
Thursday, 6 August 2009
Im not a morning person, i just look like a zombie and i don't observe the people around me. A stranger told me this, that i have this sad and tired natural looking face, especially in the morning. Since its natural, I cant help it, i tried to look like fresh, but the freshness seems to be depleted by the tiredness.
I must say i like wearing formal clothings. prolly for a change, lets move to wearing more pants and khaki with shirts and vest. the formal look gives me a boost of confidence, and yea looking presentble is important, IMAGE. I f i got all the money in the world, i would spend it on clothes, go out and try more adventorous sports, like diving or skydive. regu, if i got the money, i will definitely join u diving next year. the fact is, everything is all about money.
Birthday are an awesome occasion, but if your're the one planning for it, not fun at all. Especially if that someone is like the high-status conscious posh fren, headache. to add to the problem the budget constraint. Again, if i would have all that money in the world, i would throw a lavish party for you. but its okay, i think the company is more important. Najib loves his friends.
Some people associate workaholic to having no life. I beg to differ. We have a life, because we know how to juggle our responsibilities and commitments yet not jeopardising any aspects of our lifes.
I think you really need to put your problems aside, dun let it ruin ur life. trust me, you wouldnt want to be in that position.
I blog @ Thursday, August 06, 2009
Monday, 3 August 2009
Why am I not attached?
Is it because its just not the time yet
or is it because im shy to make the first move
or is it because i just leave it to fate
or is it because i don't have the guts
or is it because i'm not charismatic or attractive
or is it because i look very unapproachable
or is it because i people think i'm very stuck up
or is it because i'm not ready to be in a relationship
or is it because i am just sick and tired of love
or is it because sex is more satisfying than love
or is it because my other commitments are too much for me to handle
or is it because luck is not on me
or is it because i'm just being paranoid
or is it because i need cupid's help
or is it because i have an issue with myself
or is it because i just have too many OR and BECAUSE
I really have an issue with myself. Valentine, come safe me!!!!!
I blog @ Monday, August 03, 2009