I can soar on wings like an eagle...

Saturday, 2 August 2008

Why is life is so fuck up for me. I just feel that i'm just good for nothing. I feel hopeless. How the hell do you expect me to react when i tried my very best to commit to two stuff, and at the end of it, i loose both at the same time, nothing to gain, i just lost everything. Now, I'm just a free men, a hopeless one with no sense of direction in life. It's just hard to look plastic every single day, i can't put up a happy front every single minute because deep down, its just feel very pain. Life is just full of sorrows, being hurt, neglected, pack with condemnation and insults especially from human being of the same blood and kin. Damn those people who cause me unhapiness and misery in my life. Maybe your not in my situation and that is why you don't even know how it feels like to go through all this shit since young.

There's come to a point of time that i just had enough of my life. Seriously, it's pure mental torture to go through all this. Lucky enough i did not turn out to be mentally unstable, thank god i didnt commit suicide like i have been wanting to do so since i was young. Prolly god was there to help me out go through this miserable life of mine, but the misery just never stop.

For hw many more years do i need to go through all this. I had enough of it. I hate my parents so much, how i wish i was born to better responsible parents. I never felt the love from parent. My so called mom cursed the day i was born because i cause her misery, thanks bitch, don't have sex than so that you wont need to give birth. They were never ever supportive of what i am doing, they just cursing me most of the time, and that bitch mom of mine is good at that. She had always wanted to kill me when i was in primary school, saying that i look like a dustbin face, wishing me to fail my PSLE and O levels and the worst is to scrutinze and insult me about my dignity and pride. Not only that she is good at bitching about me to her friends, making me look like some unfillial kid. I hate parents. I hate my life.

For now, i really hope that grandma would be there for me till i start my own career. Without her, i wouldnt be where i am right know. The least i hope god could give me is to let her live her long life coz she is my only pillar of support. I jst hope for now that life for me would change for the better and then from there, i can just bother about my life and get myself out from that "family".

I blog @ Saturday, August 02, 2008